Unpacking Anxiety
By: Tunde Adeshoga (he/him)
THE INTERNAL ALARM THAT WON’T SILENCE
Disclaimer: The information provided is for educational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional for any personal health concerns.
Imagine you are cooking dinner. The smell of food fills the air, the pan sizzles, and suddenly your smoke detector screams. Your heart immediately races, your hands shake, and you drop the spoon. You scan the room for flames, but there is no fire, not even smoke. Just a piece of toast that crisped too long.
Now imagine that alarm never truly turns off. It hums in the background, ramping up to a scream at random moments; when you are trying to sleep, sitting in a meeting, or driving to the grocery store. That’s what living with an Anxiety Disorder can feel like: a constant alarm system that misfires, convincing you danger is near when life is perfectly ordinary.
For some, it is waking up with a pounding chest before the day even begins. For others, it is sitting in a classroom, unable to hear the teacher over the roar of intrusive thoughts. It can be lying in bed exhausted, yet unable to sleep because your mind insists on replaying every mistake you have ever made.
This isn’t just being "nervous." It is a protection system that has become too sensitive, treating everyday life as if it were a life-or-death emergency.
WHAT IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE: EVERYDAY ANXIETY VS. ANXIETY DISORDER
Living with an Anxiety Disorder can feel like carrying an alarm system that misfires all day long. But here’s the truth: people find ways to cope, even when the alarm won’t quiet down.
To understand anxiety, we have to look past the clinical definitions and look at the moments that make up the day. Anxiety is a shapeshifter; it looks different for everyone. Here are common life experiences:
You finish a perfectly sound office presentation with excellent data. For the next two hours, you obsessively analyze every word you said, convinced you sounded foolish or that they are secretly mad at you and your mind screams, “They’re judging you.”
A friend doesn’t reply to your text right away. Instead of assuming they’re busy, your mind spirals: “Did I say something wrong? Are they upset with me? Do they even want me in their life?” The worry feels endless, even when reality is benign.
You’re exhausted, but as soon as your head hits the pillow, your thoughts race. Every mistake, every unfinished task, every imagined disaster plays on repeat. Sleep feels impossible, and the next day begins with fatigue already weighing you down.
In our daily lives, we often use the word "anxious" to describe everyday pressure. We all feel anxious sometimes. Nervousness before a big presentation, preparing for an exam, butterflies before a first date, or tension before a job interview are natural. In fact, that "normal" anxiety is helpful; that stress response sharpens focus, directs energy, and prepares us to rise to challenges.
🌱 Some ground themselves with small rituals—deep breaths, a walk outside, or focusing on the feel of their hands against the steering wheel.
🌱 Others lean on therapy, medication, or support groups that remind them they’re not alone in this fight.
🌱 Many discover creative outlets—writing, painting, music—that give the alarm a softer place to land.
Coping doesn’t mean the alarm disappears. It means learning to live alongside it, to remind yourself: this feeling is not forever, and it does not define me.
But anxiety disorder is different. It is when the body and mind are locked into distress mode, stuck in fight-or-flight, even when no danger is present. Unlike everyday “normal” anxiety, which fades once the stressor passes, anxiety disorder is disproportionate, persistent, and interferes with daily life. Clinically, it lingers for at least six months, often longer.
IT IS NOT "ALL IN YOUR HEAD". IT IS IN YOUR BODY
Anxiety is often dismissed as being "all in your head." But ask anyone who lives with it, and they will tell you it is a full-body experience.
Some physical symptoms - full-body experience:
Heart racing: like drumbeats pounding in your chest during a quiet moment.
Muscle tension: shoulders clenched, jaw tight, foot tapping endlessly.
Shakiness: hands trembling even when you are still.
Sweating: palms are damp without reason.
Some mental symptoms – mind experience:
Excessive worry that feels uncontrollable.
Difficulty concentrating, thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind.
Fatigue, even without strenuous activity.
Sleep disruption, whether too much or too little.
The Good News
Anxiety disorder is not a weakness, and it is not a character flaw. It is just a body reaction-biology. The most important thing to know about anxiety disorders is that they are highly treatable. You do not have to white-knuckle your way through life. There are effective, evidence-based treatments, including therapy and medication management.
A Note for the Anxious
If you are reading this and your chest feels tight, take a moment right now.
Inhale slowly through your nose.
Exhale gently through your mouth.
You are not broken. You are simply a person with a very sensitive protection system. With the right tools, you can teach that system that you are safe.
SEEK A THERAPIST TODAY—BECAUSE YOU DESERVE A LIFE WHERE THE ALARM FINALLY GOES QUIET
